The Pain Must Go On

I should fight
I should hide
I should try
But in the end the pain must go on

There’s no refuge now
Denying won’t save me
Admitting will break me
There’s no way out

One more day
Or one day less
Both perspectives
Share a death

The fragile powerless
The absence of will
Not to care
Never dare

All the reasons lost in a paper
All the emptiness turned into words
All the memories are just a feeling
Not forgiven nor forgotten

Far away of the tragedy
Far away of the dream
No meaning

Not a game just a lie
To blurry the bound
To mess with time

To whom it may concern
I’ve never opened my eyes
Just took the road without a goodbye
The pain must go on
It’s a part of my life

Incomplete Happiness

If I never had left my cage
If I only knew I never wanted the whole world
Nothing would have changed
The emptiness would still be here

I fought for freedom and it brought me this happiness
So cold, worthless and broken
I would rather keep my chains just to feel complete again

I have walked through all the paths
From a saint to a sinner and back to a saint
I miss myself though now I’m the purest form of me
Happy but incomplete

What is it all for?
I never had the chance
There’s no coincidences, no destiny
No time for me

I was cursed by my own hands
To just watch my life pass me by
I am useless to fix the things
And even more useless to create new ones

Legacy

These chains are full of honor
What was lost and now is forever gone
It’s not a matter of time anymore
But a reason to love my pain
When all the boundaries were already crossed
All you have left is a way back home
A way back to the roots of what you‘ve been trying to deny
What lies inside of you can’t be the strength that guides you
Only emptiness can show you freedom
The line between pain and happiness is too thin
It doesn’t matter where you are going
You just need another day and four words
And then you will make it all end
You don’t need to play your own game
What you believe is nothing but a lie
We all fail at the end, so why can’t we anticipate it?
Death is the most beautiful thing in life
The eminent tragedy that evaporates in a second
The  most unpredictable breath
The primal instinct, we are born to the in between
But you will die before the physical moment of it
All the things that keep you bounded to your pain
Is the way you find to say “Hey, I’m alive”
You can only fight through the pain
It’s your sword and your shield
Life is about the walls you’ve built
And how you become a prisoner of yourself
Nobody gets in,  you can’t get out
Then you understand you never had any chance
It’s not about destiny, It’s about not being able to
All the places were wrong
And you can’t regret anything
You see the light though you don’t know what to do with it
There’s no forever, You will not have another time
You are not brave enough to end it
Nor to go back home
You just sit and wait
And that’s the only thing you know how to do well
Waiting is a way to transfer your guilty
You believe something will change someday
If it remains untouched
But you can’t prevent it from being stolen

Unfinished Memories Of A Schizophrenic Mind

Tá, tá... eu sei que nem uso isso aqui mais, eu sei que ninguém usa blog mais, e eu também sei que ninguém vai ler isso aqui. Mas, se por algum acaso alguém estiver lendo, o negócio é o seguinte: fazendo uma limpa no computador, que não está lá muito bom, encontrei diversos trechos de coisas que foram escritas nos últimos sei lá quantos anos, a grande maior parte não terminada. Como lotei os pen drives com séries, filmes e músicas, não tinha onde salvar todos eles, e como escrever se tornou algo raro, precisava arrumar lugar pra essas "relíquias". Foi então que lembrei do blog e resolvi colocar todos eles aqui, pelo menos provisóriamente. Juntei todos (ou quase todos) numa coisa só e fim.


Unfinished Memories Of A Schizophrenic Mind

1- Loving Ghosts

I know it will never happen

Not in this life

I pray for the next to come

So there will be another line

It seems it will take a long time

To share your pain with mine

How could I anticipate

This fate of love and pride?

Can I just follow the road

And keep the secret untold?

Is it fair to keep living

When I should be the one bleeding?

I hope I will go to the same place

I still remember the last time I saw your face

And it haunts me every night, even when I stay awake

But I know I didn't make a mistake

And everyday is one day less

But I can't reach the darkness

I should feel guilty for that

But there's emptiness instead

Life is suicide in slow motion

2- Roses & Bones

Consumed love dies young

Forbiden love lasts forever

3-Playing Cards With My Corpse

For such a long time I tried to destroy myself

But it was your name I called when I faced the death

Then I knew there was a part of me I should burry

But I failed and now I'm here playing cards with my corpse

An eternal battle against what should not be here anymore

In this deck of cards
There are no king or queen
A wasted land
Is my heart inside

4-Data Traveler

Subliminar tendencies

In a long road

I hear the silence

The guilty goes away

I seek in the dust

I sleep in the fire

I should have been hurt

Too much dark, too much light

Both can blind

Illusions come in a bottle

So let me drink it all

Let me be immune

There's no ground

There's no sky

Instead of silence dreams

I hold the last breath

I need to free

What should never have been

Released

5- On A Cold Winter's Night 
I wanna die on a cold winter's night
With silent tears in my eyes
And nothing to leave behind
I wanna die on a cold winter's night

Maybe the snow wouldn't be colder than me
So this dream would be more than a fantasy
I wanna die on a cold winter's night
The pain would never see another sunshine

Alone I came, alone I will go 
6- Never-ending Story
 
This is my never-ending story...

A long time ago
Misplaced feelings
Underated scenes
In the right place
Mystical pain
Released from the cage
It's insane that I survived
But I can't scape
It still lies inside of me
Didn't you get hurt?
I stayed awake
The nightmares came
The rules of the game
That I've never planned
Can you look me in the eyes?
For all the things I had sacrificed
Another day, another lie
All the voices inside my mind
You are not the one to blame
But I don't feel the guilty
Why is it so hard to explain?
This is not how it was supposed to be
I keep it alive on my memories
The fake stars of my tragedie
I said I would never have a heart
Time has passed
Many things can last
But once they are gone, they are forever gone
That's why I keep living the same day
With broken dreams, blurry scenes
I thought it was everything
That once I would have
It's what happens when destiny crashes
And all the pain, I still have to deal with it
It's not the same but it grows slowly inside
But still faster than it should
It lingers in the halfway of coming and going
It will never fade away
I'm sorry, you are my never-ending story 
7-Mirror of the existence

Searching for the answer
On the mirror of existence
I swear one day I'll belong
To the place you once called home

Living for a tear
To wash away my sins
Reaching the light inside the pain

Nothing will betray
The fear of my mistakes
Leaving behind what I've become

Far away, hidden in the distance
A space in time, the dust on fire
A heart that once was mine

Feelings not so deep
Denied for many years
A chance to recognize them
I'm weaker than my pride

On the mirror of the existence
A blurry image I see
The dead part of me

Puzzle

A puzzle without pieces
Just a question on my mind
A pain already bought
In the second I failed to close my eyes

I can't hear, I can't see
I can't breathe, I can't sleep

'Cause everything is a puzzle
To my sick crazy mind
Nothing can be simple
I have to find something behind

I tried to build something
With the fragments of my life
With words never spoken
And memories I keep awake

I failed once again
Believing in things that only will bring me pain

'Cause everything is a puzzle
To my sick crazy mind
Nothing can be simple
I have to find something behind

One piece fixed wrong
And everything makes sense
Until the day I gave up
And then I knew it was a mistake

But I keep searching for puzzles
Another question, another life
But the pain is the same
I can't leave it behind

Every illusion brings a puzzle together
Pieces of a second of insanity
Every feeling is a treasure filled with tragedie

Without Meaning

Far from everything lies a sin
Untouchable but I can see
Here I only find a pain deep within
It's how should be

Through the days they said me to stay here
Being fed slowly by my fears
My name should be whispered for another century
My words will be writen as a prophecy
Beyond the limit of the truth that lives inside everyone
They made me bleed to spread a fake lesson

Why is everything so empty?
They can't stand the guilty
So I'm here to be blamed in vain
I must be stronger to be free again

Far from us all they hide a secret
Where the sky turns to scarlet
I used to rest my head there every day
Before the innocence went away

They made us know the temptation
And then we poisoned our own creation
If you believe in destiny you follow me
And succumb to everything thet they want you to see

With them my words don't have a meaning
You can't feel my pain but you can see me bleeding

Days Of Agony

Do you think you can write my reality?

I left it all behind to fill myself with their pain
But I let a stranger dry my tears
I feel safe but the agony still remains
But the price will pay all this wasted years

Do you think you can remind me just once again?
All of my memories that you cannot put on a grave
I had to sacrifice the dreams but I hope it wasn't in vain
An artificially way of life but I couldn't be another slave

Who is the real victim of the fate?
A stranger have crossed my way
They are already gone but it's never is too late
I still need to open my eyes everyday

A pain will come to burn my innocence
No regrets and no one to blame
Just face the beginning of decadence
A life full of sins but no shame

In my days of agony
I dream about a fantasy
A stranger who whispers to me:
“You are not what you're supposed to be”

But I'm free..

Another Night To Sleep

My dear friend
The past is not your forgiveness
My enemy
Our fight is just beginning

Loneliness just give me another way to fall
There isn't what to fear
But I still feel the cold here

Take me by the hand and carry me
Through the Gate of Horn
Let the brothers show my destiny
What is written since I was born?

Knowing the future doesn't change my present
My path is still a desert
There's nothing to lead my will
Nowhere to run, nothing to hide

The desire was poisoned by the reality
And killed the hope in another fantasy
But I still have another night to sleep

Take me by the hand and carry me
Through the Gate of Ivory
Let the brothers play with me
It's better than face the enemy

I guess that being blind I will never need to be free
These chains are so stronger I guess it fits in me

Take me by the hand and carry me
Away from my insanity
Make my dream end here
Where the brothers can't see

But I will always have another night to sleep

Waiting To Die

The letter writen with my blood
The story is already told
I lost myself in a dream
And it will never carry me to home

Sometimes I just wonder
Why am I still here?
I just wish I could be stronger
To wait for what I fear

The same fight through the years
But there's nothing to earn
I only have created
The emptiness in my heart

So I'm waiting to die
And the pain will be a memorie
Another day could be too late
And unleash all my sins

And I still wonder
Why Am I breathing?
I wish I could be stronger
To wait my destiny

And it hurts me to know
That I can't end it by myself
While I can't take it any longer
I'm frozen in this hell

So I waiting to die
I wait my time to lie
Tomorrow is too late
Who will close my eyes?

One Of Us

We are the creation you cannot control
We are victims of the justice and the law
You surrender and wait for something to follow

You are one of us

We sold our conscience
We manipulate the fate
You are just another experience

Silence is the key
You cannot know
You cannot see

We are the future
You are the next sin
We are artificially pure
You are what you carry within

You are the subliminal message

We are the soldiers of the last day
You are the last light to fade away
We are the road to the hell
Today the rebel angel fell

The same old values
Offer on a silver plate
You are one of us
And you can't escape

We are the voice you hear in you mind
You know that someday it will happen
We are the feeling that made you blind

You are one of us
Don't be afraid
You are on of us
Forever empty

The Last Tale

Silence
Where is my soul?
So broken inside
This is the last tale I'll tell

Once I wished to be here
I had a reason to believe
But then everything
Turned into dust
And I'm living a lie

With the ashes of my dreams in my hands
I left behind a place 'cause my soul wasn't there
And in the last day I have prayed to fall
I became empty and I broke all the walls

I walked alone but my memories were there
Until the day I saw it was in vain
The pain will be here and a new wound will come
Just to remind me of the things I have done

Silence
Can I bleed again?
This blade seems so sweet
But I don't know if it is real

Once I wished but now I see
The rope is not strong enough
To support my body
It's fall or die
I can't live tonight

With the ashes of my dreams in my hands
I cried as I never did it before
And in the first day I prayed to be free
So I burned my dreams one more time

I walked alone in a road to nowhere
And I waited for the day when it would start again
It will never have an end so this is the last tale I'll tell
'Cause I'm trapped here in the cage of destiny

The Dreamer And The Pain

I- My Decay

Don't look at me
Just leave me alone

I cannot stand it
Not this time
Cause I find myself lost in a illusion

I tried to think I could be ok
But I know
I'm forever trapped in my dreams


II- The Road I'll Choose

Gimme my wings
I'm moving on
It's getting late
I can't stay strong
Forget the future
Enjoy the past
The old issue
What I feel still rest

Searching for freedom everyday
Emancipation, I need to feel safe

Lost inside I burried my lies
I have time to open my eyes
But I feel so cold
So good
So dead
And this road I'll choose

Time to come back in time
Forsake the things
Your legacy is mine

Another night
The same pain
It doesn't matter
I'm running away
Another place
In loneliness
I have been guide
Through the voices in my head

I found my freedom here
And it is all that I fear

Lost inside I burried my lies
I have time to open my eyes
But I feel so cold
So good
So dead
And this road I'll choose


III- Dead

Silence
Can you still hear me?
Darkness
Can I still see you ?

I have been waiting for so long time
But today I will take my last breath
No hope
No light
Just the end

I don't want to cry in my last day

I will never be right
So now it's time to burn the way
No choices
No dreams
Just the pain

Silence
The same tear still runs inside of me
Trying to find a way to come back
Denying
Lying

The only way is dying


IV- The Pain

I still can feel the pain
Dead or alive it's here
And when I try to heal it
I only feel it getting worse
There is no forgiveness to the ones who lost their souls

Everyday facing the destiny
I wait in silence
Condemned by my own guilty
My weakness made me confess
And leave the dream behind

Loneliness
I'm free but the world is still a cage

( 09/07/2009 >>> 15/09/2009)

Destroy Your Way

Forgetting the name
Giving a chance to the pain
The time will be wasted
Until my dying day

The truth in my hands
A legacy forgotten
The unspoken words
It will be better than nothing

Destroy your way
So they won't follow you

Denying my fears
Just another day to live
Forgive my sins
But I won't change anything

The guilty will be there
Just another thing to carry
One last dream
And I will face my death

Destroy your way
So they won't follow you

Closing another door...

Come Again

Come hurt me again
'Cause I cannot think you are different anymore
Come lie to me again
You won't be the first to drive me insane

You are just another one
But I used to believe in you
One more time
I let you blind me

Come betray me again
I'll always find a way to know the truth
Come kill me again
'Cause I cannot do it by myself

'Cause in the end
It's just the same
Forget who you are
We will always be liars

Come dream with me again
Let's see who will fall first
Come love me again
'Cause I'm tired of your fears

I will follow the signs
So don't try to hide the evidences
You are just like me
We fake to live

Come hate me again
I think that is all you need
Come make me bleed again
'Cause I can't stand the pain

Come again
I'm waiting
One more time
I cannot die, but I can lie



PS: Vee, obrigada pela correção ^^

Son Of The 7th Month

Son of the 7th month
You can betray them all
But you will never betray me
'Cause I will kill you before it

Son of the emperor
You can't control me
I see through your eyes
You can't lie to me

As if I know the future
I build my own grave
And I only wait my time to lie
I will close my eyes while I'm in time

Son of the 7th month
Born with the moon
I know everything about you
And I'm planning to use you

Son of the chaos
You will fall even if I have to fall with you

As if I know the future
I build my own grave
And I only wait my time to lie
I will close my eyes while I'm in time

“And the river will never flow again but my blood will remain there staining the water, just making me remember that the pain will never be gone and you were just another one who came to show me. And the next will show me the same thing. The tale will repeat forever.”

Son of the 7th month...
Bring me back to my death
Take everything that I have
But I promise that I will steal it back

Shadows Of Past

I ever knew our ways would be
Separated by the destiny
I always knew

But I started to believe
The things are just how they should be
I will always bleed

Time passed us by
And I can't even cry

'Cause this hand just has taken me
And wrote ours fates
Put the cross on our graves
I don't believe you can save me
Here

I know I'm better all alone
I guess I'll never find my home
You are never gone

The shadows of past
Watching me
Showing what we never will could be

Time passed us by
And I can't even die

'Cause this hand just has taken me
And wrote ours fates
Put the cross on our graves
I don't believe you can save me
Here

'Cause this hand just has taken me
And wrote ours fates
Put the cross on our graves
I don't believe you can save me
Here

Time passed us by
And I can't live a lie

'Cause this hand just has taken me
And wrote ours fates
Put the cross on our graves
I don't believe you can save me
Here

My Sweet Prophecy

Play with me
My sweet prophecy
Destroy my dreams
Hear my screams

Play with me
Don't let me breathe
Give me one more night
While I still have a reason to fight

The first thing they tell me
The future that they unveiled
I will follow you
How they said I will do

Can I choose?
Can I be on the other side?
Can I lose?
Can I find a place to hide?

Play with me
My sweet prophecy
Destroy my dreams
Hear my screams

When the time came
You tried to find someone to blame
And if I couldn't be here
You couldn't chose me

There is a curse hunting me
It's hard to believe that I belong to this destiny
But when all the doors are closed
And all the wounds were opened
I just wait and stand
The day when the death will take me by the hand

Play with me
Don't let me breathe
Give me one more night
While I still have a reason to fight

Every step was written before today
It reveals itself everytime I lie
And when I want to see
It shows me who I will never be

Can I write the next page?
Can I believe in what I see in my dreams?
Can I live knowing that I will become all that I hate?
Can I wake up and see that the things are what they seems?

Play with me
My sweet prophecy
Give me what I need
Don't let me bleed

Play with me
My sweet prophecy
Please kill me
Before my heart freezes

Everything That I Once Lost

Sometimes I wonder if I could find some truth in my words
'Cause everyday I lose something in this cold world
I chose to live without all the things that could make me feel good
But they still come to hunt me as I ever knew they would

For everything that I once lost
I find myself bleeding inside
For everything that I need most
I wish I could be blind

Sometimes I wonder if I could live all my life with this lie
'Cause everyday the pain makes me want to die
And I will be falling again before I have a chance to say
How many times I wished to have a place where I could stay

For everything that I once lost
I find myself bleeding inside
For everything that I need most
I wish I could be blind

Sometimes I wonder if all this fight will be in vain
'Cause I don't know if I will be strong enough to try again
But I know that I will never be ready to face the things that will come
And don't matter how hard I will try, the pain is the only thing that will never be gone

For everything that I once lost
I find myself bleeding inside
For everything that I need most
I wish I could be blind

Sometimes I wonder if I will always be alone
'Cause I'm tired of always be the one
Who will believe and bleed
And never have what I need

For everything that I once lost
I find myself bleeding inside
For everything that I need most
I wish I could be blind

When You Lie In The Dragon's Mouth

It will happen, today or tomorrow
I will die in sorrow
So I anticipate the pain
I try to get stronger, but it is all in vain

They are around you
Taking a piece everyday
They won't forget you
They will make you walk in their way

Dragons fly
They only wait your dreams die
One day you won't deny
You will surrender to the lie

It's all you ever wanted
So go ahead while you are in time
It's all you waited all your life
So just forsake me if I die

They are coming again
With promises to end your pain
They built a world for you to escape
But once you enter there you will never be safe

Dragons are dressed in white
But they keep being wild
I pray for you to see it
Before you go to sleep

When you lie in the dragon's mouth
There's nothing I can do about it
I just wish this could be my last night
I just hope your instincts could be right

When you lie in the dragon's mouth
There's no fear in your eyes
But I can see the light going out
You woke up in the dragon's mouth

You chose to live in the dragon's mouth...

The Hunter

One shoot

I want to feel the taste of your blood in my mouth
I want to be the reason for your pain
I will show you how to get insane

I need to kill you to keep you here
I need to write my name on your skin
I'll never set you free my prince

You are so fragile when you try to be strong
What you gonna do when I torture you ?
'Cause I'll never let you go

I'm the hunter and you are my target
I need to have you on my knees
To make the fairy tale complete

One shoot and....

Get yours, 'cause I'm getting mine